The Elephant In The Room

Let’s start a conversation.

By Rital-Marie Lenton

How do we begin talking about the things most people avoid—the elephant in the room?

Death is something every one of us will experience in some form, yet it is rarely spoken about until it is far too late. We shy away from it, postpone it, and hope we won’t have to face it—until suddenly, we must. My own journey taught me just how important these conversations are, and why they can no longer wait.

My mum never talked about what she wanted, so when the time came, we were overwhelmed with anger, anxiety, and urgency, trying to get everything done within just two days.

Looking back over that experience, I realised I couldn’t go back and do it all again, be prepared to have a more in-depth eulogy, and the list goes on.

As heartbreaking as it was, that experience helped me when I found work in the funeral space. I wanted to understand the funeral process better—and that curiosity set me on a path that would shape my entire career.

Over the past 26 years, with a deep commitment to supporting others, I built a successful career as a Funeral Director and Crematorium Manager in Deception Bay before establishing my own business, SoulCrystalEarth, where I now serve as a dedicated Funeral Celebrant.

Along the way, I’ve learned just how important it is for families to have a compassionate, skilled celebrant by their side during some of the most personal and difficult moments of their lives.

What truly drives me

Is bringing families and friends together to honour and celebrate life’s special moments.

My experience comes from not just my professional experience, but my community involvement for many years in GROW (a mental health support group that is based on a 12-step program of personal growth of mutual help and support).

I have also made many connections through various Networking groups such as BPW Moreton Bay, Ocean Network, Common Grounds, and the local Chamber of Commerce.

I am currently a proud member of Soroptimist International Moreton North Inc. (SIMNI) , which is a volunteer service organization in Queensland, Australia, focused on empowering women and girls through local projects, advocacy, and community partnerships. Part of a global network, the club focuses on food security, education, health, and social justice. I was the proud recipient of their International Businesswoman of the Year award in 2023.

My Personal Journey

I also draw on my personal life—as a daughter, granddaughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt, cousin, friend, and neighbour. These roles have given me a deep appreciation for family and the powerful connections we share.

I take great pride in supporting families as they create ceremonies that are meaningful and personal— creating a memorable event so that families can feel safe in a space that isn’t fraught with anger.

I like to guide them with ideas for the eulogy and family tributes, music selection for the service, poems, or readings as well as prayers.

My aim is always to ensure that each service truly reflects the life being honoured and leaves a lasting, heartfelt memory for everyone who attends.

My work as a funeral celebrant is built on connection. I work with people from all walks of life, and for me, that person-to-person connection is essential. Sitting down with a family allows me to really learn about the life of their loved one, even though I don’t always write the eulogy for the family. Through my chatting with them, I started to ask questions around what memories the family have of their loved ones. This understanding helps me to create a more personal service and shows the respect and empathy their loss deserves.

Beyond my work in the funeral industry, I love to work with my crystals, throughout my house, you will find them everywhere. This led me to incorporate them into my brand and the candles that I provide for the funeral service. I tend to work with crystals that have healing energies to support grief.

Rose Quartz is one of the great examples, and if there is communication that needs to be helped, I will turn to turquoise or blue lace agate. My power crystal is, of course, Amethyst, which I chose for my brand logo, plus I use hematite for a shield, so I don’t take on others’ grief.

I am also a passionate writer. I have contributed to several impactful books, including Mary Queen of Angels, Touched by Breast Cancer, Forever Changed by Suicide, Lockdown Stories, and Soul Mates. 

In addition, I have authored and self-published my own works, Creating a Fond Farewell and a series titled The Chronicles of the Lenton Family Pets, which includes Miss Sweetie Finds a Home & my new book Diamond The Wonder Dog. And I have started the process of authoring my next book as part of that series. These were put together for my grandchildren.

My takeaway points for you to start that conversation.

Don’t leave it until it is too late.
Record memories and share your childhood with your kids.
Talk to your parents and ask them about their growing up.

You never know what gems you will find in just having a conversation.

Rita-Marie Lenton is a dedicated supporter of Ladies Who Long Lunch, attending regular events. Rita-Marie is a Limelight Business Directory member and both Kirsty and Jo are grateful for her support and friendship.

Photo: Rita-Marie with Jenn Wallace at a LWLL event in West End 2024.

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